How to Develop Strong Relationships with Colleagues.

Author

Heather Stevenson
February 19, 2025

Hi There! It’s Heather Stevenson.

Happy Wednesday and thanks for being here! Here’s what’s covered in today’s issue:

How to successfully build relationships as an in-house lawyer.

Thoughts on the little things in life actually being the big one.

Links to resources on unwinding your self-worth from your identity as a lawyer, questions to ask when selecting a GenAI vendor,

And more…

Deep Dive

You know you need to build strong relationships as an in-house lawyer, but you may not know how. That’s what we’re talking about today.

Last week, we talked about why building relationships is essential for in-house lawyers.  If you missed it, you can view last week’s issue here.

The highly condensed version is that having strong relationships lets you do nearly everything better and more efficiently, from sharing information, to aligning on goals, to building trust.  Together, these things help you make a bigger impact.  

And they make your job far, far easier.

And also more fun. 

Awesome.   

Hopefully you’re convinced that building relationships is important. 

So now let’s talk about how to do it. 

Even if you’re an introvert.

Or busy.

Or work in a role that doesn’t require a lot of interaction with other people or that is remote. 

If you want to develop strong relationships with your colleagues, you first need to adopt the right mindset.

1. Be Curious.

It’s easy for in-house lawyers to get in the habit of assuming we are the ones with answers.  Often, we need to be.

But what if we flipped the script and started asking questions?

To develop strong relationships with your colleagues, you need to get curious.

Ask them about themselves, their work, and their ideas.

Practical Tip: Here are a few questions to get you started

  • What’s one thing your team is working on that more people should know about?

  • What’s something your team does really well that we could learn from?

  • If we were starting from scratch today, what would we do differently?

2. Assume You Can Learn Something from Everyone.

If you want to develop strong relationships across the company, let go of your ego.

From the intern to the janitor, the CEO to the new sales associate, everyone has something to teach you if you ask the right questions.  Assuming otherwise is a huge mistake. 

Practical Tip: Here are three questions to try

  • What gets you excited to come to work in the morning?

  • What has surprised you most about working [at our company]?

  • What do you wish the legal department knew about your role or department?

3. Take a Genuine Interest in Your Colleagues

This sounds trite. Maybe it is. But it works!

The more you learn about people, the more interesting most of them will become.  

Practical Tip: Keep track of what you learn

  • If you are getting to know a lot of new people at once, or don’t have a great memory, consider taking some notes on things people share with you during early conversations.

  • For example, this might look like: “Josh runs 3 miles every morning with his Golden Retriever, Bumblebee.“ Or “Sarah enjoys making vegan food.  She grew up in Atlanta and visits often.”

  • In subsequent conversations, these can be jumping off points for conversations about life beyond work.

  • I have met people who have implemented CRMs for networking, including within their own companies; that is not my style or approach, but if that’s you, give it a try!

It’s not just about mindset. You also need to take action

The specific steps that make sense will vary depending on your context.  Here are a few specific actions you can take.  

1. Volunteer to participate in cross-functional projects. Better yet, volunteer to lead one.

We are all busy.  But if you really want to learn the business so that you can drive impact as an in-house lawyer, working on projects across the business is a fantastic opportunity.

It also lets you develop strong relationships with colleagues across the company.

When I was at the Boston Globe, I had the opportunity to lead a cross-functional team working on a project related to innovation and advertising. As part of that project, I worked closely with people from departments outside of legal who I would not otherwise have worked with, and I had the opportunity to get to know leaders across the company.  It was an invaluable relationship building opportunity.  If you have an opportunity like this, grab it. The extra work will be worth it.

2. Ask for feedback or advice.  

Talking to people in other departments about how they’ve navigated challenges you’re facing, or asking those you’ve worked with for feedback, can both be highly beneficial.

Not only will you learn from what they tell you, you will show that you value their input, thereby increasing the chances they’ll come to you early if they spot legal issues.

3. Attend other departments’ meetings.

Ask if you can attend one of the recurring meetings for a department you work regularly with. You’ll learn what they’re working on and get to know the group better.

Plus, this investment of your time is a direct signal that you are interested and care.

This is something worth repeating from time to time.

4. Set up regular touchpoints with your counterparts in other departments.

I have weekly meetings with the heads of departments with whom I work the most regularly, plus frequent touch points with the heads of other departments.

The meetings don’t have to be especially structured to be effective.

They’re a chance to let each other know what you’re working on, what issues have come up, and potentially find ways to support each other.

5. Make yourself accessible.

Lawyers have a lot of heads down work to do. But if you spend all your time sitting in your office, door closed, you won’t maximize your impact.

Try to spend some time in public spaces of your office (if you work in person) and make yourself physically visible.

If you are in a remote-first company, when you can, turn your camera on to remind people you are there and make yourself seem more accessible.

If you try any of these, I’d love to hear how they work out. Let me know by hitting reply!

What if the little things are really the big things?

The Skidaway Island Fire Department - on a little adventure with my son.

My husband, son, and I recently spent a weekend with my parents in Savannah.

It was lovely.

We swam, spent time as a family, saw old friends, and relaxed.

On the last day there, my son and I also made a quick stop at the local fire department to check out the trucks and say hi. We were there for about 5 minutes.

When we got home to Massachusetts, I asked my son what his favorite thing we had done was.

I thought he might say his tennis lesson with a coach he loves there.

Or swimming in the pool with friends who he hasn’t seen in a while.

But nope - it was the fire station visit.

On the one hand, this kid is obsessed with fire stations, fire fighters, and fire trucks. So this was not a total surprise.

On the other hand, the decision to stop had been somewhat last minute. We’d been driving by anyway and decided to see if anyone might be around.

It was a great reminder that we don’t know what will feel important to other people - especially our kids.

And while we spend so much time planning the perfect trips, after-school activities, and other “big” things (or worrying that, as working parents, we haven’t thought about them enough), what we think will matter most… might not.

Sometimes, the little moments are the ones that matter.

And personally, I take great comfort in that.

That’s it for today.

But before you go, here are a couple of links I think you’ll love

Each week I share content from across the web that will help make your life as an in-house lawyer better. Let me know your favorites!

Thanks for reading! Look out for the next issue in your inbox next Wednesday morning.

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