5 Essential Skills for In-House Lawyers that You Didn't Learn in Law School

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Deep Dive

The Skills We Didn’t Learn

When I graduated from law school, I thought I knew what it meant to be a good lawyer.

I could research case law like a machine. I knew how to write a solid memo. I could spot issues from a mile away and argue both sides with ease. And yes, those skills still matter.

But once I went in-house, I realized just how many critical skills I’d never been taught.

Not in law school. Not at my firm. Not even by osmosis.

Like how to tailor legal advice to actual business goals. How to build trust with a cross-functional team before a crisis hits. Or how to write an email that gets read—and acted on.

Turns out, most of the skills that make you a great in-house lawyer are ones not formally taught. 

So in today’s issue, I’m walking through some of the most important ones: skills that separate the “trusted business partners” from the lawyers who get looped in too late (or not at all).

None of this is rocket science. But I had to figure out largely through trial and error on my own, plus with the help of some great mentors along the way. 

Hopefully this list helps you shortcut that process—and gives you a few ideas to level up, no matter where you’re starting.

1. Centering your risk-related legal advice on company risk tolerance & business goals.

This is the cornerstone skill of in-house life—and the one that feels most unnatural coming straight out of law school or from a law firm background.

In law school, you’re rewarded for identifying every issue. In law firms, you’re praised for reducing or eliminating risk. But in-house, your job is to help the business move forward while managing risk based on the company’s risk tolerance. 

That means you need to know what the business is actually trying to do. And give advice that allows for some legal risk, where doing so aligns with the goals and company risk tolerance.

When I first started in-house, I used to aggressively negotiate every point in every contract. Now, I start with a question: 

“What does success look like for the business?”

If you can’t answer that, it’s almost impossible to give practical advice.

A good in-house lawyer flags risks. A great in-house lawyer frames those risks in the context of business objectives—and helps their clients figure out how to hit their goals anyway.

2. Proactive relationship building.

The time to build trust is before your advice is needed.

Too many lawyers wait for a crisis—or a big new initiative—to develop relationships with their business colleagues. But by then, the decisions may already be made.

Instead, make time for the coffee chats. Join the cross-functional project. Sit in on someone else’s team meeting even if there’s no legal issue on the agenda.

When I first went in-house at a media company, my boss encouraged me to set up one-on-ones with my counterparts in product, HR, and advertising, and to ask to join and observe some of their meetings. Not because there was a pressing legal issue. But to build rapport, learn their priorities, and understand how legal could add value.  This was fantastic advice that benefited me there, and I’ve continued a similar practice throughout my career. 

The result was that they looped me in earlier and trusted my judgment more. Plus, when I did have to say no (or “not yet” or “not like that”), they already believed that I had their best interests in mind and was not just trying to kill every innovative idea. 

If you want to be viewed as a partner—and you do, if you want to maximize your effectiveness—find ways to join the room before a crisis forces you in.

3. The art of the email.

Most lawyers don’t think of email as a skill. It’s just how we get things done.

But while everyone assumes you can write an email, writing emails that actually get read and get your point across is a skill you can build. You don’t need to master every nuance today. Just start treating email as a core skill—like brief writing or term sheet drafting.

Because once you’re in-house, email isn’t just a way to share information. It’s one of your most powerful tools for shaping how others experience working with Legal.

A single email can move a project forward or stall it out. Build trust or create confusion. Make you the lawyer people want to work with or the one they avoid looping in.

The best emails are concise, tailored to your audience, and clearly actionable.

Want help sharpening yours? Check out 10 Ways to Instantly Improve Your Emails As An In-House Lawyer. It’s packed with practical tips you can use today.

And here’s one small but powerful mindset shift: don’t write emails to showcase everything you know. Write them to help someone else make a good decision, take the right action, or move things forward.

4. The importance of being a team player.

“Be a team player” is one of those phrases that gets tossed around so often it risks sounding meaningless. But in-house, it really is a core part of your job.

You’re not the star of the show. You’re part of the cast—and sometimes, you’re just helping build the stage.

That can feel like a shift if you’ve spent years being evaluated as an individual contributor. But in a business setting, your value is measured by your ability to collaborate effectively, help others succeed, and contribute to team outcomes, not just individual wins.

That might look like:

• Taking on a low-glamour task because it helps your team hit a deadline

• Making space for another team’s priorities even when Legal’s plate is full

• Choosing clarity and alignment over being “right” in a meeting

• Giving credit generously and asking for it only when it truly matters

It also means treating cross-functional partners with respect, even when you disagree. Especially when you disagree.

Your ability to navigate conflict, resolve tension, and still be someone people want in the room is part of what earns you influence, trust, and a seat at the table. This is essential, because if you aren’t in the room when key decisions are made, you can’t help shape them in ways that drive value.

The best in-house lawyers I know are smart and know the law and business. But beyond that, they’re dependable, collaborative, and easy to work with. They make things go more smoothly, rather than slowing them down.

And that’s what gets you invited back into the room. Not just because you’re smart—but because you make the team better.

5. Minding your mental health.

This is one of the most important skills most of us were never taught—though thankfully, that’s starting to change.

Law school is intense, but it’s just three years. Law firm life can be even more demanding, but for many lawyers, it was never meant to be permanent.

But for those of us aiming for long, sustainable in-house legal careers, intentionally and proactively taking care of our mental health is just as important as taking care of our physical well-being. Because burnout is real, mental exhaustion is a career killer, and being in either state for the long term is both unhealthy and bad for career growth.

You’re navigating complex problems, managing multiple stakeholders, and working in a role where expectations often outpace resources. It’s a setup that demands internal steadiness, not just legal acumen.

So start treating your mental health like any other professional skill.

Set boundaries. Take real vacations. Ask for help when you need it. Find a therapist or coach, or just a safe person to talk to. Pay attention to how you're actually doing—not just how productive you are.

Because if you want to build a career you love, you have to take care of the person building it.

Quiet skills can help you make a meaningful impact.

These skills aren’t flashy or loud, but they do make a difference.

They help you build trust, earn influence, and create a career that’s both impressive on paper and actually works for your life.

And the good news is that every one of them can be learned.

You don’t need to master them all at once. Start where you are. Pick one area to improve. Build some reps. Ask for feedback. Notice what works and what doesn’t.

Because the longer I’ve been in-house, the more I’ve realized that being great at your job is about legal skills, but it’s also about getting good at things like knowing how to connect, communicate, and contribute—even when no one taught you how.